Ever wonder how your parenting style is enabled by the "parent" in the "parent competition?" Picture this: your 8-year-old wants to go see the new film PG-13 that you know will be too graphic for him. Say "no" and at the same time your wife says, "Sure." See the disbelief. You can begin to argue with your wife and your son not only watches, but to pass from the side with his own views. How often you can find yourself arguing for you way ahead of your children?
With regard to these struggles parenting, how you reach a decision, preferably without supporting, certainly without argument in front of your children, and both feel validated and authorized in your parenting?
The first thing you should realize that it is really that you are a team. Each have strengths and weaknesses, ideally, to play off each other. Neither of you is the coach.You're both players in the group if the quarterback is getting ready to "go far" and the back function considers you have scheduled a hand-off, the group is the problem. It is time for you and your spouse on the same page and become a parenting group.
Learn teamwork is not so hot right now, with your child and pushing for the way-just don't learn new football teams play in the middle of the Superbowl. collective consciousness means that there is a debate and practice, planning and effort on new ways.This thing is a lot of parenting, and to do well, should be made carefully. the key is to consider your individual parenting patterns, find out why the parent how they do it, and then look at what is really best for each of your children.
So if you find yourself in a circle of arguing about the competitive parenting style, set some time aside to sit down and do the following exercises. Can be more fun than you think, and I know that you can convert your parenting conflicts in children with little success.
Exercises to build team Parenting:
1.) As a pair, make a note of two or three real-life examples of situations where you have your parenting styles differ, and you find yourself arguing (or not supporting and just feeling resentful and disempowered) on a question of parenting.
2.) for each example, record each parent "default mode" of parenting.Perhaps a parent item is simply a more permissive and tends to be more protective. Perhaps one resorts with anger and voices where the other resorts in the passive-aggressive handling to find how. What is the default style parenting?
3.) the next, every parent looks at the default style. This is an individual exercise.See how your parent and how each one of your relationships with your parents as a parent your molded.If you have a difficult time seeing parenting patterns that you inherited, you might want to ask a sibling or even a close friend for some insight.If you're still stuck, ask your spouse if he or she has any suggestions. sometimes, so mired in our family "stuff" that we need fresh eyes can see.
4.) Now go back to the examples provided in the list. See how the default styles and their children in the ways that your parent has played in communication is not wrong or right is your patterns for observing. There is no right or wrong way to parent: there are some good technical and unhealthy patterns. Our job is to learn the former and leave the latter.Here are some examples of real life:
a. MOM realizes that tends to be more lenient because it was raised in a family that was very strict and grow this lost out a lot of fun with her friends.
b. Dad realizes that tends to be higher, because he grew up in a chaotic home with certain limits and wants to give children a more structured home life.
c. MOM realizes that he has a tendency to want to become a friend of the kid's instead of being the parent, because this can avoid discipline. That little discipline by her parents, and I really do not know how to go about this.
d. Dad realizes that his parents were very strict about the types of films you saw and heard that music is carrying out the pattern term unconsciously.
5.) Now you can see patterns and how they play to children in the next challenges, go back to your examples and some decisions.Example: when Dad realizes that he's presenting a pattern with parenting, the latter may decide whether this really works for him or not.When we are unconscious parenting patterns, we have the option to let go or continue the pattern. The question to ask is the pattern for my child?, with the movie, Dad thinks that this pattern really works.Children are prone to ghosts and wants to protect it from unhealthy psychological influences. at the same time, MOM realizes that showing the pattern of the lack of discipline may not work for this child. This realizes that, as he grows, he increasingly demanding and healthier limits and that it is time to learn how to be a parent, not a friend.(Remember, your children have lots of friends, let us hope that the friends of all ages; however, you are the only MOM or dad and you need to fulfill their roles!)
So what happens if children do all these tasks and you can find yourself in conflict about a parenting issue; If your authentic and humble, really not going to happen when you are able to step back and let us make your patterns and your expectations, it is easy to see what is best for your child. Remember, it's not about getting your way, about raising healthy, empowered children. All these few interactions built for creating your family dynamics as this works is that you can make an advance of these conflicts, more peaceful and equitable life, your home will be happier, and will be your children.
Speaking directly from the MOM who's have anywhere and knows how to help your family: Shelly Walker is a mother of two beautiful children, and the activated Power and the forthcoming book children keys. Shelly is passionate about children and believes that every child deserves to be healthy, happy parents. for more information, go to http://www.parentingkeys.com.
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